Labor Day Weekend Love from Joe Dates


It’s Labor Day weekend folks! Take advantage of the extra day off and enjoy these last days of summer. The weather has been heating up so you can find me in a pool for the majority of the weekend. When I’m not getting my breast stroke on you can catch me at one of these events:

Friday Aug. 30, 2013:

Don’t Knock The Rock

Katrina Umber: And

Katrina Umber’s current show at Charlie James Gallery is called “And” because every photograph is paired or superimposed on another.

Art Deco Festival

Art Deco Society of Los Angeles hosts its ninth annual Art Deco Festival aboard the sumptuous ocean liner parked in Long Beach.

Grand Guignol Horror Plays With The Grand Guignolers

The Grand Guignolers’ 1920s Parisian themed company welcomes guests in a cocktail party atmosphere to enjoy absinthe, drinks, and treats in an evening of the classic horror plays of the Theatre du Grand Guignol from early 20th Century Paris.

Working Californians Nightshift ’13

Aaron Neville, Lucinda Williams, Etana, and the Iguanas performing.

Malibu Lumber Yard Gallery and Revolver Gallery Present: Andy Warhol Icons & Symbols

In conjunction with The Malibu Lumber Yard Gallery, and owner Seda Baghdasarian, the Revolver Gallery of Beverly Hills and owner Ron Rivlin are proud to bring its traveling exhibition Andy Warhol: Icons & Symbols, to its new home in Malibu, CA at the Mailbu Lumbar yard from August 30th to October 13th.

Friday Night Blues at Alvas w/Dave Widow and The Line Up

Guitarist Dave Widow plays Chicago-inspired Blues and Soul music and The Line Up is generally made up of top-flight session players and touring sidemen.

Los Angeles Philharmonic: John Williams

Los Angeles Philharmonic plays at Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles.

Late Night Jazz Orchestra


Enjoy the “LIVE” musical experience in an intimate setting in “LA’s best listening room.” 


Saturday, August 30, 2013:

L.A. County Fair

Annual event opens Labor Day weekend in September and continues over four weeks. Includes entertainment, concerts, attractions and competitions.

Queen Mary’s Shoreline Jam

The Queen Mary is pleased to announce that reggae rock sensation, Pepper, will headline the 3rd annual Shoreline Jam festival on Saturday, Aug. 31, 2013 at the beautiful waterfront park in front of the historic ship.

Fiesta Hermosa

For 41 years, Hermosa Beach has welcomed summer and bid it adieu with Fiesta Hermosa, the three-day outdoor street fair complete with food, music, artists and activities for the whole family.

Electric Dusk Dine In

Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo will be the featured film this Saturday.

George Lopez

George Lopez plays at Gibson Amphitheatre in North Hollywood.

Metta World Peace Presents: Ultimate Comedy

Special Event! Metta World Peace performs stand up comedy at the Improv in Hollywood, CA

Rique Pantoja & Friends

Enjoy the “LIVE” musical experience in an intimate setting in “LA’s best listening room.” 

Inception presents Powertools Takeover


Every Saturday at Exchange LA, good music and good memories bloom.


Sunday, September 1, 2013:

Labor Day Quad Day 3

Time: 7:00 AM
Venue: Pierside Surf City 6 Cinemas 300 PCH Huntington Beach, CA 92648, Huntington Beach, CA

Fast, flat course along this incredibly scenic oceanfront bike path.

House of Blues Best in the West 2013

House of Blues West Hollywood will be hosting “The Best in the West 2013” and (23) of Southern California’s best performing artists as we raise the roof for children with life-threatening medical conditions.

The Long Beach Black and White Affair 2013

The Event Of The Summer Is Upon Us… A Night of Elegance-Music- Reminiscing & Sophistication.

20th Annual Brazilian Summer Festival Featuring Samba King – Jorge Aragao

Brazilian Nites Productions Presents The 20 th Annual Brazilian Summer Festival Featuring Samba Master Jorge Aragao directly from Rio de Janeiro Sunday, September 1 at 7pm (doors 5pm for picnic, booths, samba school) Ford Amphitheatre / Hollywood Los Angeles.

Charlie Wilson at the Pomona Fairplex

Charlie Wilson is currently commanding center stage with the sparkling ballad “My Love is All I Have” which has already reached No. 1 on the Billboard Urban Adult Contemporary chart.


Monday, September 2, 2013:

WET Pool Party at Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel

Grab a daybed and sip cocktails all day long at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel’s Tropicana bar.

Hyde Beach Takeover of Gladstone’s

Hit the beach for a Labor Day weekend White Party presented by sbe. The Oceanside soiree at Gladstone’s will feature the EC Twins & DJ Vice outside on the deck overlooking the Malibu/Pacific Palisades coastline.

Skybar Labor Day Pool Party

Ring in the fall with an all day pool party featuring themed cocktails like the Bye Bye Summer (Grey Goose vodka, St. Germain, fresh lychees, basil lemon), guest DJs and more.


Top chefs and beverage purveyors take center stage for a celebration of the Southern California culinary scene at Paramount Pictures Studios in Hollywood.

FYF Fest

Nearly 100 musicians and comedians entertain at the two-day festival at the Los Angeles State Historic Park downtown.

Labor Day Weekend Dayclub at Drai’s

Soak up the final weekend of summer fun by sailing out to sea on the Fantasea One, a luxury yacht that offers four decks of DJs, karaoke, games, bar, BBQ, cabanas, bottle service, VIP tables and more at the 10th annual Labor Day party.




The F*** Buddy


For about the last 3 or 4 years this woman and I had an “arrangement”.  In this “arrangement” we did what most folks like to call FUCKING.  From day one all I did was tear that ass up.  There was no beating around the bush.  We just got to it.  One time I was bullshitting and she said in an annoyed voice, “Can we fuck now?”  Yes, I must say she was the perfect ‘Fuck Buddy’.  She was the definition of that shit.  This woman never asked about my relationship status…because it wasn’t about that. She never wanted to spend the night or even hang out after our sessions…because it wasn’t about that. She never asked to go on a date…because it wasn’t about that. Her only concern was when I was going to be available to beat the cakes.  When we were done, she threw on her clothes, maybe said goodbye and shook the spot. If she saw me in public with another woman, she would not even acknowledge it. No emotions, no reason to lie about anything, no strings, just pure fucking.  She was such a G about everything!

Now we did not link up all the time.  Sometimes we would go months without seeing each other.  I don’t know about her but if I was dating someone serious she wouldn’t even get a response from me.  Anytime there was a break up or I was going through a slump I went ahead and sent that text.  The text would read “I need that”, and once availability was worked out we were set.  It was such a beautiful situation and it worked well for both of us.  There were no emotions, no questions, and no worries.  I don’t even remember us ever kissing, and there for damn sure wasn’t any cuddling. We knew what our purpose was for each other.  When there was an itch it was scratched.  

So for 3 or 4 years this is how we got down.  We had some really good times. Our sexual chemistry was on point! But as we know all good things must come to an end.  I really don’t believe in that saying but I knew this shit had to eventually stop.  If it was up to her I don’t think it would have ever ended.  She was once married and didn’t ever want to go that route again.  So as long as she got her fix once in awhile she was good.  I, on the other hand, assumed that it would end because I would find the beautiful woman that I wanted to marry. WRONG! The damn woman broke the fuck buddy rules!  The day after our last session I received about 3 text messages from her.  After years of doing things a certain way she now wanted more.  In those text messages she let me know that she needed to be hugged, kissed, and cuddled.  Was that asking too much? YES INDEED.  Next she might want me to start taking her out on dates, and that was NOT gonna happen.  That is not in the fuck buddy handbook and I never talked to her again.  Thee END.

Stay tuned for the next post, “Fuck Buddy Guidelines”. 

Weekend Love from Joe Dates


I know it was a long week but we made it people! It is now time to enjoy our weekend. So grab your mate or date and go hit these streets.  You might wanna keep it simple but I’m all for stepping out of the box and trying something new. This week just like every week I am providing plenty of options.  If your weekend sucks then blame yourself because Joe Dates has been handing out these assists every Friday like Magic Johnson.  Now I post the different events on here but you can always use some creativity and come up with a great date.  If there is a museum on here, why not have a picnic at the museum.  Make sure you have your picnic kit on deck.  Bring some wine. Yeah drinking in public is illegal, so hide it well (like me) or pour the wine in a different container. Don’t forget your corkscrew! 

For those foodies out there that love to eat and try different types of food, please go check out this blog I promise after looking on that blog for 30 seconds you will be ready to stuff your face.  I just came up with a date idea based on the food I just saw from that blog!  Here it is, say you and your date love tacos, try a bunch of different taco spots to see who is number 1 in the city. That sounds like the perfect date to me! YOU’RE WELCOME! And here is what’s going on this weekend.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Depressed Cake Shop                                                                          Date: Friday, August 23, 2013                                                                                         Time: 7:00pm                                                                                                                       Event Website:                                                            What started unsurprisingly as a British phenomenon, the Depressed Cake Shop is a pop-up bakery that sells gray-colored baked goods in order to raise awareness about mental health. Though the cakes have bleak exteriors—representing the silent suffering of those with mental illness—the doughy centers display a pop of color to symbolize hope.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Poncho Sanchez                                                                        Date: Friday, August 23, 2013                                                                                Time: 8:00 PM                                                                                                          Venue: Vitello’s Jazz & Supper Club, Studio City, CA Website:                                     Enjoy the “LIVE” musical experience in an intimate setting in “LA’s best listening room.” See and hear Grammy Award Winning and world class recording artists specializing in all types of jazz, latin, blues and fusion music. Enjoy Italian comfort food… more

Farmers Market Friday Night Music                                                                  Date: Friday, August 23, 2013                                                                                        Time:  7:00 pm                                                                                                       Venue: Farmers Market at The Grove Website:                                                                       

Ian Krouses Lorca: Child of the Moon
Date: Friday, August 23, 2013
Time: 8:00 PM to 10:30 PM
Venue: Grand Performances, Los Angeles, CA
This compelling opera imagines famed Spanish poet and playwright Federico Garca Lorca stepping into and out of his own hauntingly beautiful fictional works. Accompanied by driving rhythms inspired by gypsy flamenco, Lorca experiences the humor,… more
Jazz at LACMA
Date: Friday, August 23, 2013
Time: 6:00 PM
Venue: Los Angeles County Museum of Art
Website:                                         It’s a celebration of LA’s finest jazz musicians, and more than 42,000 visitors attend the program annually from April through November, making it a true LA rite of passage. 
Marco Antonio Solis
Date: Friday, August 23, 2013
Time: 8:15 PM  ·  Other dates and times
Venue: Gibson Amphitheatre, North Hollywood, CA
Marco Antonio Solis is in North Hollywood playing at Gibson Amphitheatre.
The Breeders
Date: Friday, August 23, 2013
Time: 9:00 PM
Venue: El Rey Theatre, Los Angeles, CA
See Breeders play at El Rey Theatre in Los Angeles.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Indonesian Film Festival
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 10:00 am- 10:00pm
Venue: Indonesian Consulate General
Indonesian Festival is an annual event that held by the Consulate General of The Republic of Indonesia in Los Angeles supported by the Indonesian Trade Promotion Center and all of the Indonesian community in LA. You will witness traditional dances and performances, music, and the fabulous variety of Indonesian food. Indonesians have the best food in the world.
Summer Whale Watch
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 9:00 AM
Venue: Cabrillo Marine Aquarium, San Pedro, CA
Join Cabrillo Marine Aquarium on Sunday, August 25 from 9 a.m. to 12 noon to search for the great whales that visit our coast during the summer. Researchers believe there are as few as 10,000 blue whales in the world, but a thriving population of… more
Eat Your Way Through LA: Spicy Tour
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 10:00 AM
Venue: Across La, Universal City, CA
There is a fine line between “spicy,” where the food you’re eating is full of flavor, and “too spicy, where all you taste is fire in your mouth. This summer, see which side of the line you fall on… From across LA and around the globe, see if you… more
Jhonny Gonzalez @ Abner Mares
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 2:00 PM
Venue: Home Depot Center, Carson, CA
Boxing is at Home Depot Center in Carson.
Boston Red Sox @ Los Angeles Dodgers
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 1:05 PM  ·  Other dates and times
Venue: Dodger Stadium, Los Angeles, CA
FYF Fest
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 2:30pm
Venue: LA State Historic Park
Event website:
The enthusiastically named Fuck Yeah Fest rallies rowdy post-punkers, low-brow artists, anarchist skaters, caustic stand-ups and all-manner-of-other-virulently anti-establishment types for a weekend of indier-than-thou, amp-busting fringe culture. Headliners this year include My Bloody Valentine, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, TV on the Radio and MGMT.
Saturdays Off the 405 at The Getty
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 6:00pm
Venue: The Getty Center
Enjoy free outdoor music and evening views of the city on select Saturdays at the Getty. Performances by your soon-to-be favorite bands.
Street Food Cinema- Edward Scissorhands
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: Band 6:30pm, Movie 8:00 pm
Venue: Rose Bowl- 1001 Rose Bowl Drive, Pasadena, CA 91103
KCRW’s Grand Performances
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 8:00pm
Venue: California Plaza
Fared Shafinury’s Persian Dubstep, hosted by KCRW DJ Tom Schnabel
Aaron Nicholas
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 7:30 PM
Venue: El Rey Theatre, Los Angeles, CA
Memphis Music Fest
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 8:00 PM
Venue: Cerritos Center for the Performing Arts, Cerritos, CA
Billy Childs
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 8:00 PM
Venue: Vitello’s Jazz & Supper Club, Studio City, CA
Enjoy the “LIVE” musical experience in an intimate setting in “LA’s best listening room.” See and hear Grammy Award Wining and world class recording artists specializing in all types of jazz, latin, blues and fusion music. Enjoy Italian comfort food… more
Gap Xperience Live At The House Of Blues
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 9:00 PM
Venue: House of Blues – Sunset Strip (Foundation Room), West Hollywood, CA
GapXperience is made up of a core of musicians who were baptized into the Gospel, funk, rock and country musical influences that gave birth to the legendary group “The Gap Band” (Ronnie, Charles and the late Robert Wilson of Tulsa, Oklahoma). Prior… more
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 9:00 PM
Venue: LAYOM / Glencrest Dr (Block Party), San Fernando, CA
Dov Fest is an all age summer music & art festival Experience . Come see some of your favorite Edm, Idm, and Hip-Hop artists performing live on two different stages while cooling off in our water park . If you want a more “bubbly” way of beating the… more 
Inception + Soul & Tonic present Derrick Carter, Chocolate Puma & Adam Auburn
Date: Saturday, August 24, 2013
Time: 10:00 PM
Venue: Exchange LA, Los Angeles, CA
Quality music is born from the soul but gifted life through the gathering of like-minded people on the dance floor, giving wings to friendship and feelings to thought. Every Saturday at Exchange LA, good music and good memories bloom. This is the… more
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Strange Days–A Journey Through the Doors’ Los Angeles
Date: Sunday, August 25, 2013
Time: 4:00 PM  ·  Other dates and times
Venue: Dearly Departed Tours office, Los Angeles, CA
The California sound. Everyone has a definition of it and there are several bands that helped define itThe Doors are one such band. They are unique in that they are distinctly a part of the Los Angeles music scene but also a world apart in terms of… more
Jackiem Joyner
Date: Sunday, August 25, 2013
Time: 6:30 PM
Venue: Spaghettini Grill and Jazz Club, Seal Beach, CA
Maze & Frankie Beverly
Date: Sunday, August 25, 2013
Time: 7:15 PM
Venue: Gibson Amphitheatre, North Hollywood, CA
See Maze Featuring Frankie Beverly play at Gibson Amphitheatre in North Hollywood.

Marcus Graham


Boomerang is one of my all time favorite movies.  The lead character Marcus Graham has played a pivotal part in my life. People this is no joke. The man helped me understand women.  He states, “The only reason stuff like that happens to me is because I pay attention to women. Y’all don’t pay attention.”  That is it fellas, just pay attention.  If you really want that woman and this is someone you are considering taking serious then pay really close attention. Find out what she likes. Ask the right questions and she will tell you. If she doesn’t tell you with words then she will tell you with body language. Yo, if she tells you what her birthday is, fuckin write the shit down in the notes on your phone.  Cool, you brought her flowers. Did you take time to find out what kind of flowers she likes or if she likes flowers at all? Those little things will go a long way.

Now if you don’t “really want her” and you just want to beat the cakes then you still must pay attention.  It is the same process without doing the extras.  You do not have to do as much as the guy who wants this woman for the long haul. That guy was using his powers for good, but you my friend are using these powers for evil *evil laugh*.  Let’s change evil to good times. There is nothing evil about getting that pie. This is easy my guy. Just make sure you are talking about subjects that interest her. Get her to start giggling. Say something clever. Take her on a date doing something she really enjoys. Even better make the date something she always wanted to do but just never had the chance to. Just pay attention. Sometimes you will even realize that she is not interested at all or is not giving up the snacks, and if you are PAYING ATTENTION you will come to the conclusion you are wasting your time with this one.

Guys, both of you, remember to always pay attention in the bedroom.  If the chick is reacting favorably to something you are doing then keep doing the shit. Do NOT start trying new tricks and end up fucking up the groove.  Try something else when that reaction is wearing down.  Don’t be the idiot that my female friends talk about that just did 5 different sexual positions in 5 minutes.  Dude get it together, calm down, and pay attention!  And go watch Boomerang so you can get some lessons from the master Marcus Graham. Just ignore when he slipped up with Jacqueline. That is definitely not the point of this post.

Get Out This Weekend!


Joe Dates is showing y’all some weekend love so appreciate me suckas! Since I got such a good response from last week’s post, I have decided to do this every Friday. So every Friday if you want to see what is going on for the weekend jump on  NO MORE WACK DATES! Enjoy the weekend folks.

Friday Aug. 9, 2013

Brea Fest: A Taste of the Arts

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 6:30 PM to 10:00 PM

Venue: Brea Civic and Cultural Center, Brea, CA

Address: Civic Center Circle,Brea,CA, 92822


Brea Fest is a family event that is Brea’s most “tastiest” celebration and party of the year. Guests are invited to sample delicious food and beverages from over 30 area restaurants and features two outdoor bands, live music and exhibition in the… more

Friday Night Sing Alongs: Movie Musicals

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 6:30 PM to 8:00 PM

Venue: W.M. Keck Amphitheatre at Walt Disney Concert Hall, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 111 S. Grand Ave.,Los Angeles,CA, 90012


FRIDAY NIGHT SING-ALONGS: Movie Musicals August 16, 2013 W.M. Keck Amphitheatre Walt Disney Concert Hall FREE 6:30 – 8:00 p.m. Let your voice be heard along with hundreds of fellow fun-loving songbirds! It’s time to belt out your favorite tunes from… more

Family Fun Food Truck Night

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 5:00 PM to 10:00 PM

Venue: Visitation School and Parish Grounds, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 8740 Emerson Ave.,Los Angeles,CA, 90045


JOIN US Friday, August 16th, 5-10pm -14 Gourmet Food Trucks -Music by the AWESOME ‘Good Cop Bad Cop’ Band -O’Malley’s Pub -Dessert Stop Cafe -Melissa’s Airbrush Tattoos -Fantastic Fig & Newton Magician -Hoop Dancing with Josie… more

Dinner and a Movie

Make the most of summer at L.A. LIVE with the $30 Dinner and a Movie package!

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 5:00 PM

Venue: L.A. LIVE, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 800 W. Olympic Blvd.,Los Angeles,CA, 90015


Fusion Fridays

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 7:30 AM to 10:30 PM

Venue: Pacific Asia Museum, Pasadena, CA


Address: 46 N. Los Robles Ave.,Pasadena,CA, 91101

Summer Nights 2013 7:30-10:30 p.m. Free to members, $15 for nonmembers Join us for Pacific Asia Museum’s fourth season of our popular Fusion Friday series! Enjoy a dynamic mix of art in the galleries, live performances and interactive experiences,…more

Fiesta Fridays – Every Third Friday of the Month!

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 10:00 AM

Venue: Boyle Avenue, Los Angeles, CA

Address: Corner of 1st Street and Boyle Ave,Los Angeles,CA, 90033


The event is located right outside of the Mariachi Plaza Gold Line Subway Station at the corner of 1ST Street & Boyle Ave. Great location with amazing foot traffic. International Food Vendors welcome and art, craft, or fashion businesses, vendors… more

“Creative Nite Out”

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM

Venue: Dysonna City Art Gallery, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 5373 Wilshire Blvd.,Los Angeles,CA, 90036


Hey there, Are you looking for a great girl’s night out? Come out to Dysonna City Art Gallery and have a fun night of painting. We will also serve wine and food, so a great way to have fun. We will also have the wonderfully funny Leslie Jones, here… more

Friday Frenzy Standup Comedy

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 8:30 PM

Venue: OH My Ribs! Entertainment, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 6468 Santa Monica Blvd.,Los Angeles,CA, 90038


Come to The Ribs! for Friday Frenzy! Please join us for an awesome night of comedy featuring some of the best standup comics in town! THIS Week: Lineup TBA and hosted by Lisa Gopman! Admission is $8 Doors at 8PM, Show starts at 8:30! Stick Around For Karaoke!

Murder Mystery Dinner Show – Dinner Detective Orange …

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM

Venue: Embassy Suites, Orange County, Santa Ana, CA

Address: 1325 E. Dyer Rd.,Santa Ana,CA, 92705


America’s largest, award-winning, interactive comedic murder mystery dinner show is now playing every Saturdaynight and select Fridays. Unlike other dinner shows, here you will find no cheesy costumes, no campy dialogue and no hokey songs. Our… more

Summer Concert Series at the Hyatt Regency Newport …

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 7:30 PM

Venue: Hyatt Regency-Newport Beach, Newport Beach, CA

Address: 1107 Jamboree Rd.,Newport Beach,CA, 92660


You’re invited to experience the Newport Beach Summer Concert Series at the completely renovated Hyatt Regency Newport Beach! From June to October, you can enjoy summer evenings and nights listening to talented musicians, enjoying delicious food… more

Rum & Reggae

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 6:00 PM to 10:00 PM

Venue: Renaissance ClubSport, Aliso Viejo, CA

Address: 50 Enterprise,Aliso Viejo,CA, 92656


Let the island-style celebration begin! Join us for National Rum Day with live entertainment by Entropy and, of course, our inspired rum cocktails. R Spa will be celebrating with us, featuring a trunk show showcasing Dino apparel, Designer Brooke Rodd, and Coola sun care products.

Saturday Aug. 17, 2013

LA Taco Festival™ 2013

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 12:00 PM to 8:00 PM

Venue: Mariachi Plaza, Los Angeles, CA

Address: E 1st St. and N Boyle Ave.,Los Angeles,CA, 90033


Please join us for the 3rd Annual Taco Festival in Los Angeles, welcoming back our favorite taco restaurants PINCHES TACOS, TACOS CANDELAS and the addition of ten new taco vendors! Featuring live music, artists, community resources and more!

Chinatown Summer Nights

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 5:00 PM to 11:55 PM ·

Venue: Los Angeles Chinatown, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 951 N. Broadway,Los Angeles,CA, 90012


LA Chinatown Sizzles this Summer with the Chinatown Summer NIghts Series presented by LA Chinatown and Kcrw 89.9 Fm. Named one of the best summer parties in Los Angeles, Chinatown Summer Nights returns for threeSaturday nights of immersive music,… more

5k Foam Fest – Los Angeles 2013

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 8:00 AM

Venue: Fairplex, Pomona, CA

Address: 1101 W. McKinley Ave.,Pomona,CA, 91768


All Roads Lead To Foam!!! The 5k Foam Fest is the newest and craziest race to hit the nation! Smiling and running don’t usually go hand in hand but the 5K Foam Fest is an amazing mix of foam, mud and obstacles thus making fitness fun. Whether you… more

BODIES…The Exhibition and Titanic The Experience

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 10:00 AM to 10:00 PM

Venue: Movieland Wax Museum, Buena Park, CA

Address: 7711 Beach Blvd.,Buena Park,CA, 90620


BODIES…The Exhibition brings guests face to face with the miraculous machine we call the human body, showcasing real, full-body specimens and organs that provide a three-dimensional vision of the human form. Titanic The Experience allows visitors to… more

52nd Annual Watermelon Festival

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 10:00 AM to 10:00 PM

Venue: Pasadena Rose Bowl, Alhambra, CA

Address: Main Street,Alhambra,CA, 91103


A family oriented community festival hosted by the Sunland-Tujunga Lions Club to raise money for charitable and service activities. It features free entertainment, international food, marketplace, beer, free cold watermelon and drawings. There are… more

Flights & Sounds Summer Festival

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM

Venue: Orange County Great Park, Irvine, CA

Address: 6950 Marine way,Irvine,CA, 92618


The Orange County Great Park is excited to welcome back the sixth annual Flights & Sounds Summer Festival, presenting a diverse lineup of world, ska, reggae, pop and indie artists performing on the Terraced Lawn on Saturday nights, August 10, 17, 24… more

Ribs, Pigs & Watermelon – Beer Festival

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 12:00 PM to 10:00 PM

Venue: Huntington Beach Pier, Huntington Beach, CA

Address: 400 Pacific Coast Hwy.,Huntington Beach,CA, 90809


The weekend of August 16th thru 18th beach goers will have the chance to revel in enjoyment of professionally prepared BBQ treats, craft beers and ice cold watermelon in Huntington Beach. American Family Housing will be hosting their 2nd annual… more

 Sunday Aug. 18, 2013

Los Angeles TME Fashion Show

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 2:00 PM

Venue: Edge Grip Studio, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 1188 S. Longwood Ave.,Los Angeles,CA, 90019

Enjoy back to back fashion shows at an intimate studio in mid-city LA. Aside from front row the seats are first come first serve so get there early.

French Quarter Crawfish Boil

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 3:00 PM

Venue: The Other Door, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 10437 Burbank Blvd.,Los Angeles,CA, 91601


Its our monthly New Orleans crawfish boil, with all the fixins, refreshing craft beer, and exquisite classic cocktails! Supplies are limited, but crawfish will be reserved for ticketholders – so if you want to be sure to get your share of the… more

5k Foam Fest – Los Angeles 2013

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 6:00 AM

Venue: Los Angeles County Fair, Pomona, CA

Address: 1101 W. McKinley Ave.,Pomona,CA, 91768


All Roads Lead To Foam!!! The 5k Foam Fest is the newest and craziest race to hit the nation! Smiling and running don’t usually go hand in hand but the 5K Foam Fest is an amazing mix of foam, mud and obstacles thus making fitness fun. Whether you… more

Kid Ink & Dorrough Live

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 10:00 PM

Venue: Playhouse Hollywood, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 6506 Hollywood Blvd.,Los Angeles,CA, 90028-5444

50th Anniversary MLK Jr. ‘Symphony of Brotherhood’ C…

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 3:00 PM

Venue: Zipper Concert Hall, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 200 S. Grand Ave.,Los Angeles,CA, 90026


Chamber music concert celebrating 50th Anniversary March on Washington for Freedom & Jobs and Dr. King’s “I Have A Dream” speech featuring national and local classical and opera artists. Title of concert,MLK Jr. ‘Symphony of Brotherhood,’is a… more

Fruit Warriors

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 12:00 PM

Venue: Lakeview Park, Orange, CA

Address: 5305 E. Santiago Canyon Rd.,Orange,CA, 92869

Fruit Warriors for more information. Welcome to the biggest fruit fight on Earth! At the world’s first ever premiere assorted fruit battle event, expect the unexpected! – TONS of fruits of all kinds and thousands of warriors to throw them at! – Live… more

The Newport Dunes: Sundays Are For Car Lovers

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 7:00 AM

Venue: Newport Dunes Waterfront Resort & Marina, Newport Beach, CA

Address: 1131 Back Bay Dr.,Newport Beach,CA, 92660


Every Sunday 7 a.m. – 10 a.m. from April 7th to October 27th the public is invited to the Octane Car show featuring classics, rare productions, exotics, and customs all on the Newport Beach harbor. Also included at the Octane Car show is a fine art display and a fabulous Buffet Brunch at the Back Bay Bistro 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Turtle Ridge Sunset Hike

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 6:30 PM to 8:30 PM

Venue: Bommer Canyon Trailhead, Irvine, CA

Address: 6400 Shady Canyon Dr.,Irvine,CA, 92612


Join us on this 4-mile evening hike to the top of Turtle Ridge for spectacular sunset views of the Pacific coastline, central Orange County, and surrounding mountains.

Lame Dick Excuses



Like I’ve stated before and will state over and over again, I am a beast in the sack…most of the time.  During those times where I am not so beastly it really hurts my pride. For this reason, I and other men, come up with “Lame Dick Excuses”.  In one of my earlier posts I talked about how horrible I was my first time beating cakes (I should just say having sex because there was not much beating going on).  I was so quick! I think I was about 3 strokes in and it was night, night.  Knowing this was not ok and being very quick on my feet, I came up with this, “Oh shit, the condom busted”. I snatched that condom off so quick and tossed it somewhere to never be found again (until I stepped on it the next morning).  I did not plan that out or even discuss with anyone what I might say if I was a quick shooter, all impromptu baby!  Folks it worked.  We grabbed another condom and got back to business.  I still sucked but that is beyond the point. 

Now of course that excuse is not going to work in every situation.  Let’s be real, many of us are not strapping up anyway so you gotta come up with something different.  And what about those times where you can’t get it up? What are you going to say then???

For the quick shooter who is not strapped, there are a few ways you can justify your lameness.  First, blame it on her! Tell her she felt fucking amazing and there was no controlling it.  Seriously, make her feel like that thang was FIYAH!  She may still think you’re wack but she will probably let you go for round 2.  Second, just say it’s been a minute since you have had some tang.  Last time you had sex may have actually been this morning but LIE.  Hey, you can even tell her you were practicing abstinence for months.  You’re still lame as hell but if she likes you she’ll be ok with this excuse unless this becomes routine.

Now for the guy pushing rope, this is a bit more difficult.  It happens to the best of us but dammit having the paralyzed peen really sucks and kills off all swag.  None and I mean NONE of these excuses really work but we try them.  The only one that kinda sorta works is if you are wearing a condom. That’s when you have to blame it on the condom. Sometimes it is really true. The condom is really killing off your wood.  Yo condoms effing suck but until there is something better, I will stay forever strapped and you should too.

I’m starting to think these excuses just make us feel better because I’m pretty sure 99% of females are not trying to hear them at all. I actually think I am getting to the point where I just don’t give a fuck. Of course I wanna bring the thunder and lightning every time but I have shit to do (work on this blog, workout, eat, watch reruns of The Wire, etc.).  This way of thinking comes with age young pups. Don’t let these women stress you out!

Get Out This Weekend

jet ski

Get up, get out, and do something this weekend. Don’t go on that same date that you have been on a million times. No dinner and a movie this weekend folks. Get creative and go do something fun or interesting. We have a month of summer left so take advantage of this weather.  Do not allow your dates or relationships to get stale. You see the pic, I’m trying to hop on a jet ski this weekend.  Here are some ideas for the weekend for those living in the Los Angeles area. There is no excuse to have the same old routine. You’re welcome!

Friday Aug. 9, 2013:

Brew at the LA Zoo

L.A.’s Barnsdall Art Park hosts Friday Night Wine tastings with gourmet food trucks


Bobby Bradford MO’TET (Jazz Artist) at LACMA

Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Tampa Bay Rays at Dodger Stadium

NoHo Dine Out Friday Nights

West Side Story- Aero Theatre

Saturday, August 10, 2013:

Eat See Hear- Food, Movie, Music

Cinespia at Hollywood Forever Cemetery

DJ Quik at The Canyon


Pomona Art Walk in Downtown Pomona

Long Beach 2nd Saturday Art Walk in Downtown Long Beach

Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Tampa Bay Rays at Dodger Stadium

Summer Festival at Hollywood Park

Nisei Week in Little Tokyo

Perseid Meteor Shower

Forty-Seventh Watts Summer Festival

Summer Star Festival at Paramount Ranch

Sunday, August 11, 2013:

Ecuadorian Festival and Parade

Los Angeles Conservancy Tour

Chris Johanson: Within The River of Time Is My Mind at MOCA

LA Weekly Pancake Breakfast


Squares Need Not Apply!

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I have only been in a handful of relationships and only one has lasted longer than six months.  Most have been ok but this one really SUCKED.  I always look back at that one and ask myself, WHY? The only positives from that relationship were she lived really close to my college, the pizza spot next door was THEE SHIT, and she had the NFL Network and football season was just starting.  This is sounding really bad but eff it.  The chick was just ok looking, she could not cook, her personality was shitty, neither my mom nor my friends liked her, and the sex was WACK!

That was actually the biggest issue for me. It was so damn boring. I really really love sex so you know it is bad when I’m turning it down.  Even worse, she was having the time of her life. As far as she was concerned the sex was amazing.  I’m adventurous. Let’s do it here, there, and everywhere (I have some stories to tell!). But this woman would not let me touch her outside of the bedroom.  When I say outside of the bedroom, I mean not even on the couch in the living room!  I remember heading back home from San Diego with her and I tried to get my pinky stinky.  This chick looked at me like I was crazy and said someone might see us. WHO CARES?! Those people don’t know us, they will never see us again, and we are driving 75 mph! I really disliked her.  Her life is just stupid.

A square chick will either be a single one or one that gets cheated on.  I didn’t actually cheat on her, but it was on my mind ALL THE TIME. The first and only woman I have ever wanted to cheat on.  I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to break if off ASAP. Anyway, I met a young lady pretty much the same day I broke up with the ex. She was only in town for a week, but in that week she did EVERYTHING I wanted that ex-girlfriend to do. I’m talking sex on the beach BEFORE sunset, head in the parking lot, and yes my pinky got plenty stinky while rolling around the city.

I do not care if you are the finest woman in the world, you cannot be too fine to get nasty for your dude.  That pretty shit means nothing after a while.  Don’t be surprised when your dude is hanging out with that wildebeest because she got that FIYAH that you were lacking. Now I’m not saying you need to be a porn star, but don’t be a damn square.  Attack us once in awhile. Give us some ‘just because’ head. Hey I’m watching TV, and then POW my chick throws my Johnson in her mouth.  That’s the kind of stuff I’m talking about. This doesn’t cost any money and I promise your dude will appreciate the hell out of you.  Step out of that square ass box, watch some porn, and take some notes.