Let’s get right to it. I hear you talking shit. I know it’s been awhile and I’m going to be completely honest, I had absolutely nothing to talk about. Your homie was lost out in these streets. A few not so amazing women broke my not so gangster heart. Revealing how much of a fraud I can be. The player is not truly who I am. Keeping it 90 at all times (100 just isn’t realistic), Love Jones and Beyond The Lights (I cried when she took out her weave) are two of my favorite movies, so how player can I really be. Getting the ass is always the consolation prize for me when what I really want is the love and affection. Oh and since I’m keeping it real, I am the king of procrastination. That may actually be the only reason why I haven’t been posting so take what I said earlier as the 10 out of 100 that I leave open for my bullshit.
The reason why I am posting now is because I could no longer fight it. I’ve been battling sharing this one for a minute but it had to be done. Even more than just share, I wanted it recorded so that I could revisit when the time comes that it no longer randomly pops up in my head. I don’t want to ever forget that feeling of freedom that woman gave me, so this one is for me.
Last summer I was in Brooklyn visiting my cousin. YO I fucking love Brooklyn, Bed-Stuy in particular. I could never actually live there but when I visit I feel at home. My spirit is alive when I’m walking those streets, and FUCK you walk everywhere. That is not something I can get used to. Back to the damn story. This happens often, just deal with me. My cousin asked me if I wanted to roll to brunch with her where she would be meeting some friends. Food, women, and bottomless mimosas, is that even a real question?! So I made sure I got fresh as fuck (probably just had on a t-shirt and some vans with my basic ass) so I could commit straight savagery as soon as I walked in Peaches (the brunch spot). When out of town you must shoot shots! I’m talking JR Smith shots! Just keeping shootin. Obviously you see where my head was on this trip. We arrived and walked over to our party and BOOM there she was. I could not stop looking at this woman. She was beautiful. Now I am by no stretch some amazing writer, so that whole vivid description of her is not about to happen. But there was a smile. There was a laugh. There was a look in her eyes. That look fam. That look in her eyes fucked me up! I wanted her to stop looking at me so bad because it was snatching my “cool” from me. My cousin saw it. She knows me well. She leaned over to me and said “I see you and you’re done.” She was absolutely right. This god damn woman had me hooked and I hadn’t said more than three words to her.
A couple hours and several mimosas later I’m still sitting there staring like a loser. I just needed the woman to walk away from the group so I could make my move! Go to the bathroom dammit! I looked away for two seconds, turned around, and she was on her way there. We’ve got action folks. Trying to time it perfectly, I waited a few minutes and then took off. It was perfect. There she was and I got straight to the point, “I need to see you again.” That was NOT what I had planned on saying. The shit just came out. She smiled and then we just started talking. The conversation was the definition of organic. There was an instant connection. At that time, right in front of the restrooms, we could have talked for hours. We both recognized this, so we decided to exchange phone numbers and pick up the conversation at a later date.
Back to the party we went. Mingling, drinking, and drinking some mo. We were all pretty wasted. Everyone was having a great time and decided to keep the party going at another location. I was most definitely down because that meant another opportunity to chat with (just realized I never gave her a name so I’ll make one up now) Freedom. By this time I’m loaded so there is no more hesitation. As soon as we arrived I walked right up to her and the conversation picked up like there was never a pause. The conversation is getting deep. We are talking goals and passions. I just remember her face lighting up and believing in me. This woman doesn’t even know me but nothing felt more genuine than that. It came from her heart. Bro I saw her heart! It was sitting there outside of her shirt.
Soooooo at this point I have no idea where everyone went but no one else was there. It was just Freedom and I in our own world. The next thing I know she is in my arms like she had been there before. It was just all too natural. We are kissing and hugging and smiling and laughing. We are FREE. For the next 4 hours we were in a world with no hate, taxes, bills, or negativity. It was pure bliss. Look I know I sound hella soft right now but I was in the clouds homie. Straight up I don’t remember seeing another face the whole time I was with her. For those few hours that woman was my world.
Eventually our day had to come to an end and I walked her home. As we are walking past this bar, we hear “Juicy” playing. Right in the middle of the conversation we both start dancing and reciting every lyric to each other. I wish I could tell you that everyone was looking at us like we were crazy but there was no one else there that night. There were no people or cars, just us. Yo on my momma, Freedom’s world was fuckin dope!
We made it to her house. Said our goodbyes and kissed. I remember kissing her like I would be able to kiss her tomorrow and the next day. It wasn’t a final kiss. I didn’t walk home. I floated to that bitch! The next day we talked. We both expressed how amazing of a day we had together but she then told me she didn’t think we were a good idea. She was not down with the long distance and she knew that neither one of us was moving any time soon. I was a little disappointed but she was right. Everything she said made perfect sense. We talk once in awhile and the conversation still flows like it did the first time. We’ll always have that day so this post is for us. Hope you get the same feeling reading this as I did Freedom.