Do it anywhere!


Your relationship is stale. You are having sex once every couple of weeks.  When you do have sex it’s like a chore.  Routines fucking SUCK so get out of them. You guys need to try something new. You need a really good kickstart.  I don’t mean some regular punk ass date night. No wack ass dinner and a movie.  Plan a date of public fucking! No picnic unless you’re gonna do it right there in the park. No long walk on the beach unless you’re gonna end up with sand particles on your genitals (sex on the beach is dope but sand in your ass crack sucks). 

This is the spark you need. It is time to get adventurous and spontaneous. It will start as a plan but next thing you know you will be pouncing everywhere.  I have done this before and it is definitely in my top 5 dates.  This is the plan, you guys have to agree on about 5 places to try to get it on.  Of course you don’t want to get caught but the fact that you might makes it even better.  If you’re a little nervous about trying this then start with places you are less likely to get caught.  Even though you probably won’t get caught, you still know someone could possibly be watching or at least be taking notice that you were being naughty.  Some safer places are the beach really late at night or those lookouts that you’ve seen on all the high school movies where kids are trying to get their freak on.

For those who want to step it up lets do this!  This means you can’t give a fuck.  Pick a place and do it. We are breaking laws here folks and we just don’t give a damn.  Elevator- SMASHIN. Stairwell- SMASHIN. Drive thru- SMASHIN.  Ok so we decided to get a bite to eat.  OOPS your napkin fell under table.  Babygirl I think you need to pick that up…HEADY TIME!  Be open, be free, and have some fun.  Your partner is going to look extremely sexy to you after this date night, I promise. 

Here is a list of some other public options that you might wanna try out:

Baseball Diamond: I’m trying to dig her out in the dugout!

Movies: Of course! This where you were trying to get it on when you were still living with your parents. Be a kid again!

Random Restrooms: I’m talking hotels, restaurants, etc. Yeah the thought is a bit unsanitary but it’s still a good time.

College Library: Definitely not gonna work during finals week.

Tennis Court: Bend her ass over the net!

Department Store Dressing Rooms: Babe, how do these pants look on me?? WHAM! In there.  One of the easiest spots.

College Classroom: There is always an empty college classroom with an open door. You can earn that grade in there!

Cemetary: Creepy as fuck but I’m down.

Rooftops: Pick one! I know a couple I need to try out. Think about that view while you are pounding cakes.

Drive In: I really hope you’ve done this before but if you haven’t you’re welcome.

Forest: I live in LA so there aren’t too many of these but if you live near one go ahead and knock that out.

Parking Garage: If it’s the top floor then bend her over the hood.

Parks: On the swing, slide, monkey bars, etc. Make sure you don’t bring your kids to that same park!

Lifeguard Tower: They’ve been locking them lately, sad face.


Bleachers: Bring some cushions!

If you have more spots, leave them in my comments.   

Get Out This Weekend!


Joe Dates is showing y’all some weekend love so appreciate me suckas! Since I got such a good response from last week’s post, I have decided to do this every Friday. So every Friday if you want to see what is going on for the weekend jump on  NO MORE WACK DATES! Enjoy the weekend folks.

Friday Aug. 9, 2013

Brea Fest: A Taste of the Arts

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 6:30 PM to 10:00 PM

Venue: Brea Civic and Cultural Center, Brea, CA

Address: Civic Center Circle,Brea,CA, 92822


Brea Fest is a family event that is Brea’s most “tastiest” celebration and party of the year. Guests are invited to sample delicious food and beverages from over 30 area restaurants and features two outdoor bands, live music and exhibition in the… more

Friday Night Sing Alongs: Movie Musicals

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 6:30 PM to 8:00 PM

Venue: W.M. Keck Amphitheatre at Walt Disney Concert Hall, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 111 S. Grand Ave.,Los Angeles,CA, 90012


FRIDAY NIGHT SING-ALONGS: Movie Musicals August 16, 2013 W.M. Keck Amphitheatre Walt Disney Concert Hall FREE 6:30 – 8:00 p.m. Let your voice be heard along with hundreds of fellow fun-loving songbirds! It’s time to belt out your favorite tunes from… more

Family Fun Food Truck Night

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 5:00 PM to 10:00 PM

Venue: Visitation School and Parish Grounds, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 8740 Emerson Ave.,Los Angeles,CA, 90045


JOIN US Friday, August 16th, 5-10pm -14 Gourmet Food Trucks -Music by the AWESOME ‘Good Cop Bad Cop’ Band -O’Malley’s Pub -Dessert Stop Cafe -Melissa’s Airbrush Tattoos -Fantastic Fig & Newton Magician -Hoop Dancing with Josie… more

Dinner and a Movie

Make the most of summer at L.A. LIVE with the $30 Dinner and a Movie package!

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 5:00 PM

Venue: L.A. LIVE, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 800 W. Olympic Blvd.,Los Angeles,CA, 90015


Fusion Fridays

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 7:30 AM to 10:30 PM

Venue: Pacific Asia Museum, Pasadena, CA


Address: 46 N. Los Robles Ave.,Pasadena,CA, 91101

Summer Nights 2013 7:30-10:30 p.m. Free to members, $15 for nonmembers Join us for Pacific Asia Museum’s fourth season of our popular Fusion Friday series! Enjoy a dynamic mix of art in the galleries, live performances and interactive experiences,…more

Fiesta Fridays – Every Third Friday of the Month!

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 10:00 AM

Venue: Boyle Avenue, Los Angeles, CA

Address: Corner of 1st Street and Boyle Ave,Los Angeles,CA, 90033


The event is located right outside of the Mariachi Plaza Gold Line Subway Station at the corner of 1ST Street & Boyle Ave. Great location with amazing foot traffic. International Food Vendors welcome and art, craft, or fashion businesses, vendors… more

“Creative Nite Out”

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM

Venue: Dysonna City Art Gallery, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 5373 Wilshire Blvd.,Los Angeles,CA, 90036


Hey there, Are you looking for a great girl’s night out? Come out to Dysonna City Art Gallery and have a fun night of painting. We will also serve wine and food, so a great way to have fun. We will also have the wonderfully funny Leslie Jones, here… more

Friday Frenzy Standup Comedy

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 8:30 PM

Venue: OH My Ribs! Entertainment, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 6468 Santa Monica Blvd.,Los Angeles,CA, 90038


Come to The Ribs! for Friday Frenzy! Please join us for an awesome night of comedy featuring some of the best standup comics in town! THIS Week: Lineup TBA and hosted by Lisa Gopman! Admission is $8 Doors at 8PM, Show starts at 8:30! Stick Around For Karaoke!

Murder Mystery Dinner Show – Dinner Detective Orange …

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM

Venue: Embassy Suites, Orange County, Santa Ana, CA

Address: 1325 E. Dyer Rd.,Santa Ana,CA, 92705


America’s largest, award-winning, interactive comedic murder mystery dinner show is now playing every Saturdaynight and select Fridays. Unlike other dinner shows, here you will find no cheesy costumes, no campy dialogue and no hokey songs. Our… more

Summer Concert Series at the Hyatt Regency Newport …

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 7:30 PM

Venue: Hyatt Regency-Newport Beach, Newport Beach, CA

Address: 1107 Jamboree Rd.,Newport Beach,CA, 92660


You’re invited to experience the Newport Beach Summer Concert Series at the completely renovated Hyatt Regency Newport Beach! From June to October, you can enjoy summer evenings and nights listening to talented musicians, enjoying delicious food… more

Rum & Reggae

Date: Friday, August 16, 2013

Time: 6:00 PM to 10:00 PM

Venue: Renaissance ClubSport, Aliso Viejo, CA

Address: 50 Enterprise,Aliso Viejo,CA, 92656


Let the island-style celebration begin! Join us for National Rum Day with live entertainment by Entropy and, of course, our inspired rum cocktails. R Spa will be celebrating with us, featuring a trunk show showcasing Dino apparel, Designer Brooke Rodd, and Coola sun care products.

Saturday Aug. 17, 2013

LA Taco Festival™ 2013

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 12:00 PM to 8:00 PM

Venue: Mariachi Plaza, Los Angeles, CA

Address: E 1st St. and N Boyle Ave.,Los Angeles,CA, 90033


Please join us for the 3rd Annual Taco Festival in Los Angeles, welcoming back our favorite taco restaurants PINCHES TACOS, TACOS CANDELAS and the addition of ten new taco vendors! Featuring live music, artists, community resources and more!

Chinatown Summer Nights

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 5:00 PM to 11:55 PM ·

Venue: Los Angeles Chinatown, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 951 N. Broadway,Los Angeles,CA, 90012


LA Chinatown Sizzles this Summer with the Chinatown Summer NIghts Series presented by LA Chinatown and Kcrw 89.9 Fm. Named one of the best summer parties in Los Angeles, Chinatown Summer Nights returns for threeSaturday nights of immersive music,… more

5k Foam Fest – Los Angeles 2013

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 8:00 AM

Venue: Fairplex, Pomona, CA

Address: 1101 W. McKinley Ave.,Pomona,CA, 91768


All Roads Lead To Foam!!! The 5k Foam Fest is the newest and craziest race to hit the nation! Smiling and running don’t usually go hand in hand but the 5K Foam Fest is an amazing mix of foam, mud and obstacles thus making fitness fun. Whether you… more

BODIES…The Exhibition and Titanic The Experience

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 10:00 AM to 10:00 PM

Venue: Movieland Wax Museum, Buena Park, CA

Address: 7711 Beach Blvd.,Buena Park,CA, 90620


BODIES…The Exhibition brings guests face to face with the miraculous machine we call the human body, showcasing real, full-body specimens and organs that provide a three-dimensional vision of the human form. Titanic The Experience allows visitors to… more

52nd Annual Watermelon Festival

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 10:00 AM to 10:00 PM

Venue: Pasadena Rose Bowl, Alhambra, CA

Address: Main Street,Alhambra,CA, 91103


A family oriented community festival hosted by the Sunland-Tujunga Lions Club to raise money for charitable and service activities. It features free entertainment, international food, marketplace, beer, free cold watermelon and drawings. There are… more

Flights & Sounds Summer Festival

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM

Venue: Orange County Great Park, Irvine, CA

Address: 6950 Marine way,Irvine,CA, 92618


The Orange County Great Park is excited to welcome back the sixth annual Flights & Sounds Summer Festival, presenting a diverse lineup of world, ska, reggae, pop and indie artists performing on the Terraced Lawn on Saturday nights, August 10, 17, 24… more

Ribs, Pigs & Watermelon – Beer Festival

Date: Saturday, August 17, 2013

Time: 12:00 PM to 10:00 PM

Venue: Huntington Beach Pier, Huntington Beach, CA

Address: 400 Pacific Coast Hwy.,Huntington Beach,CA, 90809


The weekend of August 16th thru 18th beach goers will have the chance to revel in enjoyment of professionally prepared BBQ treats, craft beers and ice cold watermelon in Huntington Beach. American Family Housing will be hosting their 2nd annual… more

 Sunday Aug. 18, 2013

Los Angeles TME Fashion Show

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 2:00 PM

Venue: Edge Grip Studio, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 1188 S. Longwood Ave.,Los Angeles,CA, 90019

Enjoy back to back fashion shows at an intimate studio in mid-city LA. Aside from front row the seats are first come first serve so get there early.

French Quarter Crawfish Boil

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 3:00 PM

Venue: The Other Door, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 10437 Burbank Blvd.,Los Angeles,CA, 91601


Its our monthly New Orleans crawfish boil, with all the fixins, refreshing craft beer, and exquisite classic cocktails! Supplies are limited, but crawfish will be reserved for ticketholders – so if you want to be sure to get your share of the… more

5k Foam Fest – Los Angeles 2013

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 6:00 AM

Venue: Los Angeles County Fair, Pomona, CA

Address: 1101 W. McKinley Ave.,Pomona,CA, 91768


All Roads Lead To Foam!!! The 5k Foam Fest is the newest and craziest race to hit the nation! Smiling and running don’t usually go hand in hand but the 5K Foam Fest is an amazing mix of foam, mud and obstacles thus making fitness fun. Whether you… more

Kid Ink & Dorrough Live

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 10:00 PM

Venue: Playhouse Hollywood, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 6506 Hollywood Blvd.,Los Angeles,CA, 90028-5444

50th Anniversary MLK Jr. ‘Symphony of Brotherhood’ C…

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 3:00 PM

Venue: Zipper Concert Hall, Los Angeles, CA

Address: 200 S. Grand Ave.,Los Angeles,CA, 90026


Chamber music concert celebrating 50th Anniversary March on Washington for Freedom & Jobs and Dr. King’s “I Have A Dream” speech featuring national and local classical and opera artists. Title of concert,MLK Jr. ‘Symphony of Brotherhood,’is a… more

Fruit Warriors

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 12:00 PM

Venue: Lakeview Park, Orange, CA

Address: 5305 E. Santiago Canyon Rd.,Orange,CA, 92869

Fruit Warriors for more information. Welcome to the biggest fruit fight on Earth! At the world’s first ever premiere assorted fruit battle event, expect the unexpected! – TONS of fruits of all kinds and thousands of warriors to throw them at! – Live… more

The Newport Dunes: Sundays Are For Car Lovers

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 7:00 AM

Venue: Newport Dunes Waterfront Resort & Marina, Newport Beach, CA

Address: 1131 Back Bay Dr.,Newport Beach,CA, 92660


Every Sunday 7 a.m. – 10 a.m. from April 7th to October 27th the public is invited to the Octane Car show featuring classics, rare productions, exotics, and customs all on the Newport Beach harbor. Also included at the Octane Car show is a fine art display and a fabulous Buffet Brunch at the Back Bay Bistro 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Turtle Ridge Sunset Hike

Date: Sunday, August 18, 2013

Time: 6:30 PM to 8:30 PM

Venue: Bommer Canyon Trailhead, Irvine, CA

Address: 6400 Shady Canyon Dr.,Irvine,CA, 92612


Join us on this 4-mile evening hike to the top of Turtle Ridge for spectacular sunset views of the Pacific coastline, central Orange County, and surrounding mountains.