I seriously did NOT want to make a post about Valentine’s Day but since the blog is called Joe Dates I feel like I had to. So here it is, F*** Valentine’s Day! I’m kidding. I’m not bitter at all that I don’t have valentine because that shit can kill your pockets. For those of you that do have one, this day should not be super special. I’m saying this because there should have been multiple days throughout the past year that you showed your significant other your appreciation and love for them. Now it’s a little different if you just recently started dating someone. This is when you gotta step your game up and show them all the awesomtacularness (awesome and spectacular combined to create a super word) that comes with being with an expert level human being like yourself.
Now if you have been a relationship for a significant amount of time let’s examine your situation. Do you suck? I mean seriously, are you just a wack piece of crap that does nothing special for your mate. Notice I’m not being gender specific because this is a two way street. We like to feel special too ladies so get off your ass and stop thinking this day is all about you. I better at least get some new house slippers (the corduroy slippers from the swapmeet). Now back to examining your wackness. When was the last time you two went on a date? You have to continuously do these things. Without the dating, consistent appreciative gestures, and plain old affection, your relationship will wither and die. You don’t want to have to remind them why they got with you in the first place. This should be evident from your everyday dealings. Now I am NOT hitting you with the “everyday is Valentine’s Day” bullshit. That is just not realistic. What I am saying is that you do need to make sure your mate feels special on a consistent basis. If you know she likes flowers then my dude make it a point to bring home her favorite flowers once in a while. Miss lady, if you are passing by SK Donuts on 3rd street and I’m not on a diet, then grab me that cronut and blueberry donut that you know I love. Do you know what I would do to you if you did this? First, I would shed one tear. Next, I would turn you into a donut and go to town on that ass! Gestures like that mean so much, simple things go a long way. The fact that you have showed your mate they are constantly on your mind will make Valentine’s Day just another day. Another day to show EACH OTHER that you give a damn. All that being said…If you have a problem with any of this then you should probably not be in that relationship….or with anyone for that matter because you’re wack. They aren’t special enough to you.
Time to get to the newbies. When it’s this early it’s definitely mostly on the guy. We have to do all the planning and spending. Only thing expected out of the ladies is a card, sexy lingerie that we probably won’t notice because we just want you naked, and some “I appreciate you” head. Fellas my advice here is to pay attention to the woman. Take note of what she likes. Don’t take her to an expensive seafood restaurant thinking you’re doing big shit and then find out she is allergic to shellfish. PAY ATTENTION! This will go a long way. If she told you her favorite flower is a tiger lily and she can’t stand roses then don’t be a dumbass and buy 2 dozen roses because it looked like the thing to do on Valentine’s Day. It’s really not difficult but if you are having trouble in this department, then ask her the questions NOW. Next thing is be creative. I will admit that I am not a naturally creative person. What I do is use what someone else has done prior and then put my Joe Dates twist on it. I twist that bitch up to the point that you won’t notice the original plan. Bro, google is your friend, use it. You really don’t have to spend a ton of money if you get creative. I was going to make this post all about Valentine’s Day tips but I refuse. I will let you get your google on and see what you can come up with. If that still doesn’t help then leave a comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will give you some really good tips. You’re welcome.
This post is less about Valentine’s Day and more about making someone you care about feel special and appreciated. With google and other options at your disposal there is no reason at all to have a boring and generic Valentine’s Day or dating life in general. Step your shit up and get excited about trying to impress your mate. Lastly, make sure you tear that ass up at the end of the night. No Valentine’s Day is complete without some good cake pounding.
I’m going to get you started and leave you a few links. I will give this one tip, you prepare the V day dinner or hire a chef for the night (this could be your cousin or aunt that cooks hella good that ain’t got shit to do on Valentine’s Day).